Sounds like neither of you have grown up and spit right in the face of the oath you both took at your wedding. Now you're paying for what you have done. You can either keep making the same mistakes or learn from them and be a better person from it. Cheating is the chicken way out. If you truly are unhappy then it's best to divorce. Sounds like the two of you have your sexual preferences and have both agreed that it's OK to cheat. Now she has a mistress??? Slowing down on calling her mistress means that she's had her fling, the magic is over and it's time to turn on to someone else. Is this the way you both want to live? If you so choose, then each to their own.
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