In Celestic town when you defeat the galactic grunt and give the old charm to cynthias grandma head into the ruins and talk to the picture of azelf,uxie and mesprit.Cynthias grandma will give you hm03 then.
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You can't. There is only one speed to the "Surf" on Diamond/Pearl.
surf left of jubilife to canalave
Spheals can only be found in Pokemon Pearl on routes 226 and 230 (surf), but you might have to get the national dex first.
The Hearthome gym leader Fantina lets you use surf in Pokemon Diamond, Pearl and Platinum.
if you look on serebii.com/attackdex/surf it will tell you which Pokemon can learn surf