I believe the only requirement is 55 defence. You have gotta finish "The Fremennik Isles" quest too.
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u have to be 40 in defense for rune armor and 40 in attack for weapons
You can find this out quickly in the game itself: click on the skills icon, and click the "Defense" skill - the relevant skill for wearing most armour. In the case of adamant, the answer (for the new RuneScape) is that you need Defense level 40.
A skiller at combat level 3 can use a tiara. You can use any tiara, providing you have the Runecrafting level necessary to make the associated altar. Even without the level, you can still wear it.
The only way you don't burn Shark is if you have level 94 cooking, and wear cooking gauntlets. If you don't wear them it is impossible to guarentee that you will stop burining them even with a skillcape boost of 100.
In RuneScape there are usually no gender-related restrictions, i.e., a girl can wear anything a boy can wear. The real restriction for "elite" stuff is that it is members-only.