Yes you can play band hero without the drums.
In Band Hero (and Guitar Hero 5) You can make any combination of 4 instruments ( Guitars, Drums and Mics )
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you can with mic and guitar, but not drums
yes you can with either the rock band drumset or guitar hero set
Yes you can either get the Band Package: Guitar Hero Game, Drums, Guitar and Microphone or the single package only consisting of the Game and Guitar
Yes you can use the drums or the microphone to play.
You can play Rock band with a guitar hero guitar, but you can't play Guitar Hero with a Rock Band guitar.