Your boyfriend cheated on you twice what should you do?

Answer 1

If you have confirmed that your boyfriend has cheated on you, not once but twice, it may be time to take stock of your relationship. First, you need to ask yourself if his cheating is something you are going to be able to accept, forgive and move on from. This is going to encompass a lot of personal examination, and the answer will probably not come overnight. It may be easy to start with a simple list. Write down or think about what is most important to you in a relationship. Fun? Trust? Humor? Loyality? Dependability? The ability to cook? Then create a separate list of pros and cons for reasons you stay with your boyfriend. Does he match up to the list of what you expect and deserve in a relationship?

If you evaluate the situation and make the decision to stay with your boyfriend, understand that this means forgiving and moving on from his mistake. It will take time for trust to be earned again. In the same breath, accepting an apology and agreeing to work past this problem means you have to do just that. Bringing this up in the heat of an argument six months from now is no longer fair game and will be deconstructive to repairing the relationship you once had.

It may be easy to say you are going to take him back and move on, but before you do, consider what it may mean for you. Are you going to be able to let your boyfriend have an independent life in addition to your relationship? Or will you constantly be sitting at home worrying if he is cheating while you blow up his phone? Are you honestly going to be able to live with this creeping into your mind from time to time (and rest assured, it will)? Cheating is more than just a physical act. If you are the one who is cheated on, it is extremely emotional. It may be humiliating, it may be degrading, it may even make you wonder what you did wrong. You have to ask yourself if this man is truly worth feeling and working through these emotions. You have to question what kind of man would make you feel this way. You have to ask yourself if a relationship whose foundation of trust has already been broken can ever be repaired to the relationship you crave.

The best advice is to never stay with someone for fear of being alone. This is going to be a difficult road whichever path you choose. Give yourself the time to grieve, to understand how you feel, and to decide if you are willing to give it another try. If the answer is no, then have faith in yourself. The fact that you found someone once means that you are a person who is worthy of being cared about and loved. You will find someone again, and it may be the person who values your relationship and you, enough to not put you through such pain.