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Tone of voice and the relationship between the people involved. The wording isn't all that important; it's possible to use polite words for something that's very clearly intended as an order or for a request to be worded fairly bluntly.

That said, using words like "please" can help. "Please come in" or "Would you like to sit down?" are ways to indicate that you don't intend it as a command.

However, if your boss says "Could I please see you in my office for a minute?" and you treat it as an actual question or as a request, it's likely to get the response "Let me rephrase that: get your a** in my office RIGHT NOW."

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12y ago

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