How many calories in a popeye's chicken breast?

Answer 1

Popeye's chicken breasts have no actual calories; instead, their nutrition is measured in actual time off your life; ie, one breast = dying 12 minutes sooner, one delicious buttery biscuit = 8 minutes, red beans and rice = 6.25 minutes, and a diet Pepsi = -0.5 minutes (credit). The average Popeye's chicken dinner will make you die about 27.5 minutes sooner; you will, however, die happy. NIH is currently running clinical trials for Popeye's chicken therapy for severely depressed patients; researcher have discovered that the preponderance of depressed individuals in the North East is largely due to the lack of Popeye's Fried Chicken stores in that area.