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A desire for 'violent sex' doesn't necessarily mean she was abused. For example, a therapist once mentioned to me that some women who feel guilty about having sex feel better if they and their partner go through the motions of violence and/or of tying up the woman. It means that the woman can say to herself, 'He forced me to do it'. I would like to stress that this is only one of a number of possible explanations. It sounds as if you're not happy with the situation. Please have a frank discussion with your girlfriend.
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