What is a maternal girlfriend?

Answer 1

Freud would call it "phallic mother" but the meaning is the same. A maternal girlfriend is the result of a unresolved Oedipus Complex in childhood. Metaphorically, the father figure (the subject of envy for the mother's love) symbolically castrates the boy child (think of this as the Alpha male knocking the Beta male back in line when the Beta tries to mate with the female). The result is a identification-separation between the mother and child, after which the male child begins to identify with the father.

If the father is absent or a giant a-hole, the process is rarely resolved. The mother, operating as both mother and father in the child's life, becomes the phallic mother (the traditional female imbued with the masculine qualities of the father.) The boy never separates from his mother; he continues to identify with her; consequently, he never matures beyond the stage of dependent child.

When the boy grows up and separates from his mother, if he isn't gay, he will seek out a maternal girlfriend and relive the conflict of his childhood. At this point - again, metaphorically - he will have sex with his symbolic mother. As his true mother was both mother and father to him, his girlfriend will be both mother and lover to him.

In Zac's case, the conflict was never resolved. Vanessa is the maternal girlfriend and Zac depends on her to mother him, to tell him what to do, where to go, what to wear, etc. Inside he is still that little boy who needs his mommy to encourage, console and support him.

To love, one must be free to love. When one is not free, this love is dependency.