make her feel guilty eg talk about how sad you would feel if someone cheated on you with someone else, the ask her questions like: my boyfriend would never do that would he? then if she doesnt answer just tell her you know about her and your boyfriend. improvise from then on. i did and it went great! xD
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You should approach him quietly and privately and ask him to explain. If necessary you should ask him to talk about it with your mother. It is not fair for your father to expose her to harm via STDs. She should be given the opportunity to make a decision about whether to work on the marriage or end it.