go to counciling
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∙ 2008-04-11 13:28:38There are many different reasons that children and adults remain silent about the "secret" of abuse, including: - scared that the abuser will hurt or fatally injure them - fear that the abuser will hurt or fatally injure a love one - embarrassment - the abuser convinced the victim that "no one will believe you" - the abuser convinced the victim that "you wanted it as much as I did" - the abuser uses bribes or any form of "currency" that the child needs or wants including attention, money, gifts, or special treats - the victim starts to believe he/she did "want it" simply because he/she wanted the items the abuser promised - just want to pretend it never happened - don't know it's abuse - the lack of words to define or describe what happed - the abuse occurred at night so that the incidents become clouded "as if a dream" - the victim dissociates so there is a wall between "now" and what occurred "before now", even during the abuse - the victim suffers from Stockholm's syndrom (start to have feeling for the abuser and will sympathised with the abuser) Parents who do nothing after being told by a child about abuse often do not tell anyone because: - the parent is the abuser in many cases OR.... - the parent/s do not understand the danger of abuse, even if they have another child in the home - the abuser is the mother's boyfriend so the mother chooses her boyfriend over the child - the abuser is the mother's boyfriend and the mother cannot get away from him - the abuser is the father who also commits domestic violence--the mother feels she cannot safely leave and take her children with her - the abuser is the spouse or boyfriend who has threatened the mother as well as the kids and the victim - the parent fears involvement of child welfare - the parent was also an abused child so he or she thinks "I got through it, so can you" - the parent feels powerless - the parent is in denial - the parent has a mental illness and is ineffective at protecting a child - the abuser is the parent's workplace boss and the parent needs the job so therefore chooses not to tell the authorities OR.... Both parents or the mother and a live-in boyfriend commit the abuse together against the child.
factors may include if the individual has a mental disability such as dementia or not having mental capacity. If the individual is secluded or isolated or are vulnerable. There could also be factors for the abuser which could include the abuser having lack of training, also abusing their power. sometimes personal issues have a part to play which could include the carer/abuser being stressed or having a history of abuse and continuing the cycle
Today, ABUSER is a term thrown around in the drug rehabilitation clinics. Also chemical dependency is another one.
That would depend on your relationship with your mother-in-law and your husband's relationship with his mom. Will she be receptive to hearing negative things about her son and will she be willing and effective at discussing the issue with him. You have to weigh the pros and cons.
It doesn't change but the quantity of certain enzymes might change.
Yes and no it all depends on the person
taking on more responsibility
yes, if they want to change then they will have to work as hard as they can. Change is hard but still good if you are changing to the good side.
Animal Abuser or Animal Cruelty Abuser
Unfortunately, if they don't think that they are, you won't be able to convince them. Try to reason with them if you can about how their abuse hurts others. Try to tell them that they can change their ways and get help if they want to.
Some of them are not aware of their behavior at all. Still some are. If you are a victim of abuse you can share your feelings with your abuser when the abuse subside, but if they feel as though they arn't at fault, they won't change. The abuser would have to want to change their abusive behavior.
Abusers are bad. Period. It is common for someone who has been abused to feel lonely when the abuser becomes absent, but it is because of the stress of change. If you feel yourself running back to your abuser, get help. The situation will only escalate otherwise.
Abuse stems from the abuser, not from the relationship - so a change of partner won't in itself change much (or anything). An abuser needs appropriate counselling or therapy to deal with the problem. The first step of course is for him or her to acknowledge that there is a problem and that needs attending to. I hope this is some help. All the best - Joncey
No he is not a child abuser.
Love Your Abuser was created on 2007-01-30.
An abuser is someone who attacks people with words, violence, or neglection. An abuser is also some who uses something axcessively or is addicted to something.
Give him time. He will.