You get HM03 Surf when you go to Celestic Town which is above Solaceon Town where the Psyducks are suffering from headaches. You will fight a galactic grunt when you reach Celestic Town, after that go into the ruins after you talk to the elder. The elder will give you HM03 Surf after you press A facing to the picture on the wall.
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You can't. There is only one speed to the "Surf" on Diamond/Pearl.
surf there
surf left of jubilife to canalave
Suprisingly, yes.
hearthome lets you use surf anyou get surf from the old lady in cesitown