Simple: You will get zeal no matter who wins, but if you lose you will get less zeal than if you win.
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You spend Zeal at soul wars by Trading Nomad near the Soul Wars bank.
Gold charms are obtained mainly from monster drops and are deemed by many as the most common charm obtainable. Many monsters drop them although hellhounds and firegiants drop them the most frequent. Less conventional ways to obtain charms are either by thieving them from Dorg-esh Kaan chests or by trading in zeal points for them at the Soul Wars minigame.
The fastest way of getting level 70 Defense would be Soul Wars 50/50, if it's still going.
No.
Seriously, the fastest way from level 90-99, is Soul Wars. It takes 2 weeks to get the 1000 points and every 100 points gets you a level.