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Yes and he uses his sparkly fairy powers to zap the evil Beastie to Jesus's arms where Jesus uses his army of Ooompa Loompa dolphins to take back the 2012 presidential election seat from the Evil Hockey Mom of the West, more commonly know as Sarah Palin. However Jesus wasn't powerful enough and the Evil Hockey Mom won, but thankfully she choked on a pretzel and died a painful death. Rejoicement!! The holiday has been named "Anti-Apocalypse Day!"

No of course not you nitwit!

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