What are some good bar jokes?

Answer 1

Some old jokes:

Two men walked into a bar... ouch

two men walked into a bar, you think one would have ducked.

A dog hobbled into a Western saloon with one leg wrapped in a bloodstained bandage. The bartender said: "Can I help you, pardner?" to which the dog replied: "I'm looking for the man that shot ma paw."

A man rushed into a bar and called: "Quick, give me a treble whisky!" The bartender poured the drink and the man gulped it down, then said: "Give me another." The bartender poured the drink and said: "You seem agitated, sir. Is anything wrong?" "Yes", said the man, knocking back the whisky, "I have to deliver some bad news." "What is the bad news?" asked the bartender, to which the man replied: "I've got no money to pay for the drinks!"

A duck walks into the bar and asks, "You got any grapes?" the bartender says no and the duck leaves.

The next day he comes back in and says "You got any grapes?"

Again the bartender tells him no and the duck leaves.

He continues to do this for quite a few days, finally the bartender gets too annoyed with it and the next time the duck asks "You got any grapes?" he screams "ASK ME THAT ONE MORE TIME AND I WILL NAIL YOUR BILL TO THE FLOOR". The duck took that as a no and left.

the next day he came in and said "You got any nails?"

"no", the bartender says

"well then, You got any grapes?"