What are some good dumb robber jokes?

Answer 1

Dutch Bungling Burglar

A stupid criminal was caught after he fell down a chimney while escaping over the roof of a house he had just broken into. Police in Maastricht, Holland, arrested the 33-year-old after being called out by the house owners who heard his calls for help. The man had tried to flee out of a roof window with his booty of cash and jewellery, but tumbled in the dark and got stuck inside the chimney.

A Funny Magistrates Court Story

This hilarious story was researched online by Will and Guy and may make you laugh at the stupidity of some crooks. We cannot, however, vouch for its veracity.

A man arrived the magistrates court, he was charged with impersonating a policeman.

On arrival he was wearing a blue Baseball cap with the word 'police' on it; a fluorescent yellow jacket, with 'police' on it, he was carrying a truncheon, a can of CS spray, and he had blue flashing lights in his car.

You will, no doubt wish to know how he came to be arrested. It apparently happened like this: he flagged down a car with two men in it, pulled them over and said 'Police. You're nicked.'

They answered, 'No mate. You're not police - we are.' Funnily, he had stopped two off-duty detectives in an unmarked police car and so ended up in court.

You could not invent a story like it.

Man Drops Swag, Locks Keys In Getaway Car, Shoots Himself

- Surely One of The Dumbest Criminals:

A man who had spent 20 years in prison for bank robbery back in 1963 thought he would try again in 2003 in Spotsylvania County, Virginia, USA. He demanded and received several thousand dollars from two surprised bank cashiers and as he fled he spilled $100 notes in his wake as he attempted to stuff the cash into his pockets and get away.

When he reached his hired getaway car this stupid criminal realised that he had locked his keys inside. This bungling burglar promptly took to his heels and fled the scene on foot followed by two passersby who grabbed him. The fleeing felon attempted to pull out his gun but failed, and shot himself in his leg but kept fighting his would be arresters; one of whom shot the suspect.

The local police have charged the robber with 8 felonies, including robbery and 2 counts of attempted murder. The suspect was attended to in hospital and recovered.

No, you couldn't make it up