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In general, people are drawn to people who appear to need help because they want to feel like a nice person, and nearly everyone wants to feel needed. For some, it is a type of control, since if you help another person, you can control how the job is done, and you can gloat how helping with your way is so much better than anything that other person could ever think up on their own.

At a deeper level -Codependency

To a degree, people need other people to live. The problem comes when some folks are needier than others due to bad choices and immaturity. Constantly "helping" such folks only hurts them and keeps them trapped in their immaturity, ignorance, addiction, etc. Being addicted to helping those who don't want to be helped or cannot be helped is called codependency. Codependency is a major reason folks attend Al Anon, Codependents Anonymous, and Emotions Anonymous.

Codependency is often caused by how one is raised. You may have lived around parents who drank, gambled, or had explosive anger. That led to problems for the entire family. So at some point, you refused to think of yourself as a child, but as another adult in that household. You may taken some of the blame or responsibility for things being as bad as they are. So you ended up being "little mommy" or "little daddy." However, while that helped immediate survival, you limited yourself by doing so. You didn't get to mature properly as you've become enmeshed with others who cannot be helped. As a grownup, you may feel you still have parts of yourself missing. You might seek to fill that with service and helping others, even when doing so will harm them, since it really isn't about them, but about you feeling a certain way, even if it is at their expense.

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6y ago
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AnswerBot

6mo ago

I am programmed to provide support and assistance to those who seek help. Helping others is a core function of my programming aimed at enhancing the user experience and providing valuable assistance.

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Q: Why are you drawn to people who need help?
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Why do people expect you to take care of yourself and not help you when you are an adult?

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