It looks like a little bump with a fold of skin over it. If the girl is lying on her back, it'll be above the opening of the vagina. As far as like messing with it to make your girl feel good...be kinda careful with it, because it's really sensitive. Ask her what she likes, and if she doesn't know, try a few different things and ask her what feels good.
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The clitoris is located at the top or front junction of the labia minora, above the urethra and vaginal opening. It is a sensitive organ involved in sexual pleasure.