What I do with my hands while making out with my girlfriend is usually just hold her. Like I'll wrap my hands around her back and just hold her. OR, you could GENTLY grab her butt. Just slide your hands easily down her lower back until your hands are on her butt.
Whatever your partner will allow you to do.
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Some guys like it when you put your arms around his neck, while others like it when you put your hands in his back pockets.