What does it feel like to be gay?

Answer 1

It's not the same for everyone.

When you don't know it yet, it's a feeling of confusion, of fear, and of inadequateness. You feel you don't fit in, but you don't know why. Often, it goes along with people making you feel you're different (picked on, bulllied, laughed at...)

When you know it but don't accept it, it's very stressing. You want it to change, but don't know how (as it can't happen), and you're very afraid of what it's gonna change for you. You're all life projects, especially family hopes, are fading away. You're also afraid of the reaction of your parents, and family and friends. You're afraid that you're not gonna be yourself anymore, but someone else. Some people also have religious concerns, but I don't know much about that.

When you just have accepted it, it exhilarating. You have a whole life to re-create. Your tastes, your habits, your friends, you feel all can and must be changed. It's also the moment you tell others, and it generally goes medium well. Nobody stops talking to you like you were afraid (but sometimes you siblings or parents), but some people feel uncomfortable, betrayed or very curious. This changes, if you have not been outright rejected, will slowly fade away, and things will return to normal when people have realised you are still basically the same. Sometimes your relationship with people gets stronger, as you have been through a tough change together. Sometimes you lose them, or the relationship is hurt forever, or a long long time.

At last, you finish the change process, and either you go back to be the same (a bit older), or you like the new self you have created, and you keep it. In this case, you probably have changed most of the people around you. In both situations, you live a life that is not that different from others. You work, watch tv, hang out with friends. But you know you have to be cautious sometimes, like you have a secret identity to hide. Some gays never fully accept, and are very secretive. Others make it a main part of their life, and live a crazy sex, drugs and techno life. Most are just like everyone else.

As for how it goes in society, it depends very much on where you live, and what social category you belong to. If you're highly educated in a big western world city, you don't see any difference. If you are blue collar in a small town of a conservative place, it's hard, as people really treat you as a freak on a daily basis.

Answer 2

Pretty much the same as being straight -- you see someone and you experience an immediate physical attraction.

But if you're gay, you will probably add one or more of the following: confusion, guilt, fear, anger, isolation. This is because we live in an overwhelmingly straight society. This is because you absorbed misinformation about homosexuality long before you realized you were gay. This is because, while your straight friends just assume they have a right to exist and "go with the flow," you have to demand your rights and examine every decision you make. Sometimes, this is because everyone assumes you're straight; sometimes it's because everyone assumes you're gay.

You deal with all that because -- just like straight people -- you know that your life will not be complete without someone to love who loves you in return.

If you don't know what the HECK that means, just re-read the first paragraph and the last one!

Answer 3

It's okay, I've found when you're gay you use your virginity earlier, and later on you're not expected to pay for a night out like some straight men sometimes feel obliged to.

Depending on where you live it may not be that safe, but generally in the right areas we can feel open to ourselves.

Coming out of the closet may be stressful as not everyone approves of the "lifestyle".

As gay rights are not prevelent in most cultures, it can be harder to ensure your partner is legally recognised as such, and therefore some important things like medical situations can cause conflicts.

Generally it's similar to being a straight guy.

Answer 4

What does it feel like being straight? We all feel the same, except gay people have an attraction to the same sex and straight people have an attraction to the opposite sex. There is nothing gay people feel that straight people feel differently.
Just like being straight except that you like men instead and women.
Pretty much the same as being straight -- you see someone and you experience an immediate physical attraction.

But if you're gay, you will probably add one or more of the following: confusion, guilt, fear, anger, isolation. This is because we live in an overwhelmingly straight society. This is because you absorbed misinformation about homosexuality long before you realized you were gay. This is because, while your straight friends just assume they have a right to exist and "go with the flow," you have to demand your rights and examine every decision you make. Sometimes, this is because everyone assumes you're straight; sometimes it's because everyone assumes you're gay.

You deal with all that because -- just like straight people -- you know that your life will not be complete without someone to love who loves you in return.

If you don't know what the HECK that means, just re-read the first paragraph and the last one!

Answer 5

Being gay is simply one aspect of a person's identity and does not determine how they feel. Like anyone else, a gay individual's feelings and experiences are shaped by a variety of factors such as their personal relationships, experiences, and environment. Just as with straight individuals, feelings and emotions can vary widely among gay individuals.