What are the words to Ka-son at the airport?

Answer 1

Ka-Son: Attention travellers! Due to recent changes in airport screening procedures, all passengers may not have liquids, gels or aerosols of any size aboard the aircraft.

Man and Woman: (to other passengers) Excuse me. Sorry we've gotta get through.

Woman: (to Ka-Son) I'm sorry can we get through we're gonna miss our flight.

Ka-Son: Mam, this procedure is not gonna stop simply because you were unable to wake up on time.

Woman: Can you just hurry up, we are in first class and we're very late.

Ka-Son: Okay, I'll try (smiles fakely). These prohibited items include (slowly) beverages, shampoo, hair gel, hair spray…

Woman: I know what you're doing.

Ka-Son: (ignoring woman and still slowly) Cream, lotions…

Woman: (to man) Could you…

Ka-Son: (still ignoring woman and slowly) Potions (woman rolls her eyes), glue, apple juice, doughnut filling (back to normal pace) and other items of a similar consistency. (woman puts bag on table) (Ka-Son clears her throat) Mam is your diaper bag free and clear of the prohibited items I have so spoken of?

Woman: Yes, yes.

Ka-Son: (smiling fakely) Okay, I'm gonna have to take a look.

Woman: No, I just told you, it's fine.

Man: Honey, relax, she's just doing her job. (smiling at Ka-Son)

Ka-Son: (smiling gleefully) Well thank you sir for your support. (Licks her lips) And may I say that polo shirt fits you very nicely. (smiling at him)

Man: (smiling back)Well thank you.

Ka-Son: Delicious, you are welcome. (smiling with wide eyes)

Man: (laughs)

Ka-Son: (picking up tube of diaper cream) (to woman) Mm-hm. Mam this over the counter diaper cream is prohibited.

Woman: (looking shocked) Put my baby has a rash.

Ka-Son: (uncaring look on her face) Well so do I, but I know I cannot bring a cream on board fo' it. (chucks it into big box) (going through bag) (picking up lipstick) Mm-hm.

Woman: No, no. That's Chanel lipstick. It's very expensive.

Ka-Son: (mimicking woman) Oh, I know that. But it is lip balm. And lip balm, like all other balms, are not allowed aboard the aircraft. And not only is it not allowed, but a woman with a pasty complexion such as yours, cannot pull off this shade of red. (smiling) I, however, can. (puts it in pocket)

Man: Bet you can. (smiling)

Ka-Son and Man: (laugh flirtily at each other)

Ka-Son: Ooh. You gon get eaten up today, boy.

Man: (laughs at Ka-Son) (to woman) Woah, watch out. (laughs again)

Woman: (to Ka-Son) You are very inappropriate.

Ka-Son: You know, I feel that the circle of negativity you are building around your offspring is very inappropriate. Babies absorb hostile energy like they are sucking it off your titties.

Man: (to woman) True. I saw that online, somewhere.

Ka-Son: (laughs at man)

Woman: (to Ka-Son) You clearly don't know how to do your job. I mean where did they find you, the DMV?

Ka-Son: (pointing finger at woman) You better calm down, little miss Bin Laden.

Woman: (protectively)I am not a terrorist.

Ka-Son: I will be the judge of that. (close to tears) I am our country's gate keeper and any procedure I need to do to protect your baby, and my babies, and my babies' babies, and even my Cousin Titi's babies' babies' babies' babies, I will carry out to my fullest ability and capacity to protect the world community. Believe that. Okeh bleh bleh.

Woman: (looks unconvinced) (man looks convinced and understanding, raises eyebrows at woman) (woman looks at man at sighs, shocked)

Ka-Son: You may proceed to x-ray. You two, please, enjoy your flight.

Woman: (smiling fakely) Thank you.

Ka-Son: (mimicking woman) You're welcome. (woman walks away)

Man: (quietly to Ka-Son) I love you. (walks away)

Ka-Son: (blows kiss to man and makes claws with her hands and claws air)