If you have been cheated on should you stay or should you go?

Answer 1

Every relationship is different, as every person is different. Depending on your living situation/work situation, I would recommend just easing back into the relationship SLOWLY if you decide to forgive them and move on, just feel it out as you go. A little bit of time will tell you what you really want, and what will make you happy.

Not all advice is good advice! Some people react with myopic emotional prejudice without taking all the relevant information into consideration. Before following someone's advise you must consider all that you have to gain or loose.

People cheat for many reasons. Some cheat for the pleasure and excitement of the act. Some cheat because of encouragement from others. Some cheat because of unfulfilled sexual desires. Some cheat because of unhappy relationships. Some cheat to compensate for personal (emotional) weakness.

Was your partner a good and loving person?

Did you two have a good relationship?

Does your partner demonstrate to you that he/she cares for you?

After you answer these questions honestly, consider what you relationship is worth to you and make a rational decision!

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Discussions*If You stay, It must be for you, not for him. I separated from my husband 17 years ago, we remained friends, but he has never changed his behavior. I understand why he is the way he is, and he has the right to be and do whatever he wants. I also have rights, I don't have to put myself in the middle of it. I cannot sleep with him. I don't want to die, and I will not play Russian roulette with my life. He already has admitted to having contracted Hepatitis C. I am finally divorcing him. I am ready to live , and love again. I took my time, and am ready for it now. Do what is right, and remember God loves you, and wants you to be happy. It may take a while, but in time, you can be again. Let him make his own choices, and you make yours.

*Leave, he/she did it once, he/she'll probably do it again.

*I think you should only stay if you really love him and think you're relationship is worth salvaging. When I was 15 my first boyfriend cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend. I was really upset but took him back because I was in love with him. It took a long time to truly forgive him, but we got past it and stayed together another 9 months before calling it quits. Even though to me cheating is a sign of disrespect for a relationship,part of me is glad I stayed with him because I was more at peace for us to split amicably then for us to break up over something as painful as been cheated on. I got to really come to terms with what he did, and move on from it with him. Easier said then done of course, but yeah I think it really depends on the state of your relationship and how far the cheating went, is it a one off or something done over and over. Repeated cheating is a sign of a habit that your partner might not be able or want to break.

*well if he has done it before already then he hasn't learned that its wrong yet and he will do it again.so don't fall for the inosent trick. be strong and say no

*I was in a relationship for two years with a man. Wedding plans were being made and he told me every day just how much he loved me. He also cheated on me 5 times. Our relationship didn't start off too good though. He was dating a girl who I had never met and he cheated on her with me. I didn't think about what I was getting into. After a while they broke up and when he asked me to be his girlfriend I couldn't have been more happy. I never trusted him, and that ultimitly lead to our break up. After I found out he cheated the first time I cried for days. He'd lay with me and rub my back telling me how sorry he was and that he'd never do it again. He told me that he loved me and he was stupid. "Please forgive me." he'd beg. And I did. Then he did it again and again. One time he stayed the night with another girl instead of walking me home. I knew what he was doing and he knew I knew. When he was done though, I let him in my room.

My life was hell. I was constantly crying and beating myself up, "what's wrong with me? Why aren't I enough for him?" Eventually, he broke up with me. The last girl he cheated on me with he ended up dating for a year, then she cheated on him. He hasn't dated anyone since and has recently called me telling me that he still loves me and how stupid he was. I then got the joy of saying everything I always wanted to.

Point is, he says he's sorry and he is. But he wont stop. You forgave him and he'll expect you to forgive him again. Men are like children. Just a slap on the back of the hand isn't going to make them stop. Make them pay!

Due to my present situation and a past relationship; I say it's time to leave and use this experience to make better decisions in the future.Before my current relationship I allowed my ex back after his first affair, and he apologized and was so sweet trying to re-establish the trust. Then multiple affairs occurred and then in the mist a long term affair, that was the final blow. That's what resulted in my current relationship, to a married man; at first it started out innocent and as friends he was dealing with some personal issues with his spouse and I was being harassed, stalked and anything you can name by my ex. A deep friendship developed and one thing led to another; it wasn't long after that, we became pregnant and he told me he loved me. It's going on two and half years, it took until a month ago for me to acknowledge any feelings for him and to allow myself to love him, and all the while my ex has been trying to reconcile. M/m wife now knows about our sons and the relationship; she said she wasn't giving up on them, i have encouraged him for the sake of the children involved to stay with her, because I know that isn't what he expects me to say. She has demanded that he severe all ties with me and the boys and let the courts work it out; he doesn't want too. She has blocked my number from his cell phone and he continues to call on another line of mine; we are still sleeping together, she is constantly calling and trying to keep tabs on him. I told him it will get worse, I have let her know that I even know that she has threatened to kill him, if he doesn't leave me alone and end the relationship. I have told him what her next moves will be, so that he will have a heads up. Little does she knows that she is slowly pushing him away, whether it's to me or another woman. her marriage was over long before me and I am not the problem, she plays most of the blame on me and then the rest on him and not looking within herself. No the trust can never be replaced in that relationship it has gone beyond reconstruction. I truly know this first hand; there will always be doubts and insecurities. I can trust him, because I trust that he's human and will fall short. I know what I feel concerning infidelity and what I have wanted to do to seek revenge and what led him astray within his marriage and I can relate to it; mostly that's what start affairs, someone feeling the same emotional heartaches that you are experiencing, he was constantly cheated on within his first marriage and the spouse not only left him for another but conceived a baby with her lover while still married to him. No one would understand your pain,but another that has experienced it, and you will be able to open those lines of communication and establish the necessary ground rules that will strengthened the bond that the two of you will form. That's why I can love him enough to let him go, if I have too, I will want to crawl under a rock and die, but children are my first priorities and he loves his kids....think about it, long and hard, before you try to work things out with your ex.

*First of all if he cheats at all you should leave him because he/she isn't worth your time and they'll do it again because trust me I been through it and it isn't worth it.

*Okay, Girls I am a guy, I thought i'd at what i have to say, because like all of you, i too have been cheated on, but by a girl, personally, i don't find it fair that alot of women call men dogs because of the man cheating on their women, women believe it or not do the same thing. It takes two to Tango, and if you think about it, all the girls that your guys have been doing things with wanted it as much as he did, so he didn't tell them about you all, but who knows if that would have changed anything? I had a girl once who wanted me when it was convienent. So where's the big difference between your men and my girl? And i too let her come back, because i was aware of the cheating, just because i thought i loved her. But man was i wrong. it took me ages to get over her, and she always came back saying "your my soulmate, blablabla". then she cheated on me again, and one day i said to myself this is bull, and i told her i never want to see her again, sure she still writes, mainly when she's drunk but hell, i couldn't careless. My point is just that we aren't that diffrent, so why call us dogs when you do the same?

As to the actual question, i think it's your decision, you decide, how much does he mean and can you do without him? Personally im sure you can do without him, even if you choose not to want to believe it, but i realised too, that when someone does, so much wrong you can fall out of love with them, and if it helps, think of the bad things that they have done, and remind yourself everytime they say sorry and soon enough you'll be over them.

From my ExperienceWhen I was 19 I was cheated on by my then girl friend. Her excuse was she didn't know who to choose because she was in love with the other guy and me. So I stepped back and gave her space so she could make up her mind. A week later she tells me its me she wants to be with. After 6 months she asks me to marry her and it was quite all of a sudden. I said yes because I was in love with her. In a week I find out that she was cheating on me all along and in fact she lied to me when she said I was the one she had chosen. Infact the only reason she asked me to marry her was because her other guy had left her for someone else. I was shocked and quietly dissapeared. After a month she stopped calling and e mailing and havn't trusted a girl since then. And probably never will.

go !

go as quick as you can ,

I've been through that stage and i kept going back it's nothing but a crap load of lies .

How you feel?

well.. it really depends on how much you love this person.. if you truley love him/her then every one deserves a second chance, but if that person keeps on doing that same thing over and over again then you shouldn't hold on cause they obviousley don't respect you or your feelings

If they have in fact cheated on you, and you know for certain that they did then I think the best thing to do is to walk away. If this person really did value what you guys had, then they would have respected the relationship and not cheated.

Let go of past, don't make the memories you had with them pull you back to them. Go forward with your future and make new memories with someone who will give you more respect than they did.

I strongly believe in the quote "Fool me once, shame on you fool me twice, shame on me." Whose to say that they won't cheat again?

It is possible that he/she had broken up with you but you didn't understand them so you thought you were still going out but you weren't. That happened to me once. I was really mad until he explained it. I felt really stupid for a while.Then i got over it and started dating someone else.