How do you trust an alcoholic as your boyfriend?

Answer 1

If you have an alcoholic partner who is not in recovery and still actively drinking - you cant. It does however depend on what you mean by trust - but from my experience when your partner is actively drinking they will have little or zero thought for anything or anyone other than themselves and their next drink. So if by trust you mean 'can you trust your partner to be accountable for their behaviour whilst drinking', (and all that this entails) then the answer is no. The hardest thing I find about loving someone who suffers from this terrible disease, and it is just that, a destructive, relentless, frustrating, misunderstood disease, is that when sober you see the person for who they really are and it therefore causes so much pain when they become someone completely unrecognisable when they drink. Unless your partner is aware of their Alcoholism and is seriously trying to overcome it by seeking support to get sober and stay sober, then trust, (which is the basis for any healthy relationship) is out of the window. Anyone with an addiction as destructive as alcoholism will always put that before anything else. Find out as much information as you can regarding it so that you know what you are dealing with and can support, (if you choose too) your partner but more importantly look after yourself in the process. Alcoholism, like all major addictions takes no prisons. It draws everyone in, partners, family, work, freinds. Do not try and deal with this all on your own - you cant. Get support - it's out there in many forms, Al - Anon being just one. Ultimately you need to speak with people who have experience of living with an alcoholic and understand what you are going through. In the long run, this will help you and your partner much more.