How do you teach a kid not to be gay?

Answer 1

Sexual identity is a deeply seated process in human development. It's not something that's "controllable" or even changeable, so attempting to change -- as opposed to learning more about it and perhaps accepting it -- can cause deep harm and damage important familial relationships. Sometimes much more permanently than you would ever want.

You'll want to tread very, very carefully down that road and learn from others who have been there before you, lest it lead to worse problems than you sought to "fix". Keep this statistic in mind before you decide that you need to somehow "repair" your kid: It's estimated that every five hours, an LGBT teen takes his life. For each one that succeeds, 20 others try. -The Trevor Project, GLBT Teen Suicide Helpline 1-866-488-7386 (USA)

Now ask yourself: Are these kids getting support from their parents/family or being told there's something wrong with them, feeling shunned, rejected by the very people they need the most at that point?

I have to tell you that, as a psychologist, the idea that homosexuality is a preventable disorder is completely misguided. There's no scientific research to back it up; it's not a disorder any more than heterosexuality is a disorder.

Dr Dobson (Focus on the Family) tells parent if your child tells you that he or she is gay or lesbian, then you should not say "Well, that's OK" you should not try to accept them but you should try to get them "changed". That is exactly the opposite of what you should do, it's the way to devastate your child. It's not something that can be changed at will because it's inborne, it's natural. There's nothing to repair.

By instilling fear and shame in a person, you can get them to suppress any feelings that they have. But that is worlds away from changing somebody's sexual orientation

- Paula J Kaplan, Ph.D., Clinical/Research Psychologist, Harvard

Now instead of trying to break your child of something you may not agree with or simply don't fully understand and cause untold years of personal anguish, feelings of rejection and personal turmoil, you might want to try and accept them and respect them. Not always easy for a parent who's not familiar with or even has dislike of gays.

To help you with that, there is an organization called PFLAG (pflag.org) which is Parents, Family and Friends of Gays and Lesbians. They're moms and dads of gay kids and many, many of them went through much confusion and worry about their gay children too; they were not all 'gay libbers' before they found out their son or daughter was gay. So they can definitely relate to where you are now and will help you to love and accept your gay or lesbian child.

See the Related Questions and Links below Don't they have every right to be gay or lesbian? If other guys make him happy why should you stop him? Why are you trying to prevent him from being happy?