Do people lie about age on adult dating sites?

Answer 1

There are of course no age limits as to who can use online adult dating. In our twelve years of running club-aphrodite.com we have had several members join as late as their mid seventies and many more who were in their sixties when they joined. Obviously they do not find it as easy to make contact or meet up with other swingers as younger members do. Nevertheless, some have been remarkably successful, proving that age isn't necessarily a barrier, even in purely physical-sexual dating.

Much of the attraction of using online adult dating sites is the ease of making a few mouse-clicks to arrange a date. Using filters to find singles and couples in a specified local area and age range is one of the most popular search features of every site these days. But this leaves older members at more of a disadvantage because the age ranges create a somewhat inflexible attitude in the mind in the searcher. Whereas a face to face encounter leaves the consideration of a person's actual age almost irrelevant compared with the age they look to be, an online search does almost the opposite. This fact and the impersonal nature of online dating combine to encourage members to lie about their ages. As a general rule, people up to their mid 30's tend to state their true ages but those who are over 40 tend to be more liberal with the truth.

The older person using an adult dating site is therefore probably right in recognising the need to reduce their stated age so that it falls into a lower range on the search filters but the question is what happens next? Assuming the photographs are not a give away, there is unlikely to be any other problem before the face to face meeting takes place. If the person who has lied really does look the age they are claiming, the liaison is likely to be just as successful as any other. It is only when they look older than the age published in their profile that there is the potential for a real problem to occur.

Under these circumstances, the other person, or couple for that matter, involved in the meeting will almost certainly feel anything from a mild sense of disappointment to outright anger at being lied to and having their time wasted. In the latter case, nothing can be done to retrieve the situation but less severe reactions may leave some scope for still bringing things around to a successful conclusion.

Being honest at this stage and revealing why it was necessary to squeeze into a lower age range filter may help but the really important thing is how much the person who has lied about their age is able to act genuinely younger than their actual age denotes. If they really feel the younger age and play the part convincingly, then there is every chance the other person (or couple) will begin to see them as this and start to forget how they viewed them the moment they first met. This demonstration needs to occur very quickly however. First impressions really do count and the first three or four minutes of any first time meeting usually seals its eventual outcome.

With adult dating, the physical side of things are even more important than in romance or friendship dating, making this kind of turn around more difficult to achieve than it would be for someone who was meeting up in the hope of beginning a long term relationship. Similarly, whereas women tend to be more disadvantaged than men by the age factor in dating generally; the degree of disadvantage is inevitably going to be greater in adult dating situations where physical-sexual considerations far outweigh other factors.

The question was whether to lie about age when using online adult dating sites or not, and if so, whether people can get away with it when it comes to meeting face to face. We think that the answer to both questions is a cautious yes and if you are in your 40's, 50', or 60's and not doing it already, this article should have made you aware of the fact that your 'competitors' probably are!

Answer 2

Yes, some people do lie about their age on adult dating sites. They may do so to appear younger or older depending on their personal preferences or to attract a certain type of person. However, it is important to be honest about your age to build trust and avoid potential issues later on.