What are the lyrics to 'Don't Sit in My Pew'?

Answer 1

These are as close as I can come to them:

Well I went camping just a while back with a couple of high school friends

And on Sunday morning I wanted to find a church to worship in.

So I packed my truck and headed out, it was there in a cloud of dust.

It was the Ebeneezer Fellowship Non-Denominational Bapti Costal Free Will Church.

When I walked in they were ready to start, and that little church was packed.

There was only one seat in the very front row even though I really wanted the back.

So I walked right in and I took a seat, a hush fell over the place.

And this sweet little gray haired woman walked up and said boy I got something to say.

Folks around here call me Granny, I'm as sweet as I can be.

Well I volunteer for everything they couldn't make it without me.

I teach Sunday School, I sew and bake, why I'm even in charge of the Christmas play!

And there's only one thing I ask in return, a lesson you should learn.

Don't sit in my pew, you know it belongs to me.

I've been sittin' right here for at least 40 years, and that's the way it's gonna be.

I can tell that you are new around here so you'd better get one thing clear.

If you know what's good for you, don't sit in my pew.

Well I walked to the back of the church and I was feeling just about as tall as a flea.

One of those Deacons walked up and handed me a brown ice cold metal folding chair.

So I sat out there and I listened to the choir as they sang "I shall not be moved"

And then the preacher looked at me and he said "now we want our special guest to stay when the service is over for some of Granny's Red Velvet Cake. And that's what I did.

But just about the time they were saying the blessing, I noticed I didn't have a fork.

Well, I figured I'd caused enough commotion for one day. So I thought I'm gonna ease on over there to the kitchen and find the utensil drawer and help myself. And that's what I did.

But just about the time I found that utensil drawer, guess who spun me around? Yep, ole Granny!

Stay out of my kitchen, you know it belongs to me.

I been cookin' in here for at least 40 years, and that's the way it's gonna be.

So if you need a fork or if you need a spoon, the next time stay in the other room.

Boy you'd better pay attention.

Stay out of my kitchen!

And then she reached up, kissed me on the cheek and said "you know, Granny hopes you'll come back next week. But if you do, don't get in my parking space, don't sing so loud, wear a coat and tie, come early for Sunday School, stay out my kitchen, but most of all…

I can tell that you are new around here so you'd better get one thing clear.

If you know what's good for you, stay out of my pew.

And remember, Granny loves you!