Why do women fall in love with men that treat them like dirt but dump the men who treat them like queens?

Answer 1

Answer

Its because all women have self-esteem issues, as do men, its human nature. The majority of women's self-esteem issues come from not getting the validation they sought from their fathers/male role models as small children and moving into early adulthood. Therefore they don't want men that validate them straight away (nice guys), they want men that initially don't validate them (jerks) because once they start to get some attention from the jerk it subconsciously reminds them of when they they would get small amounts of approval from their fathers/male role models. Then they will chase the jerk to try and get more of his validation, more constantly.

Answer

A large number of women like jerks because they enjoy chasing after something that seems unobtainable. The jerk will typically show some interest and back off and act unavailable. He will do this as many times as is necessary in order create the impression of being hard to get and therefore worth being had. Many women have a tendency to become aroused by the idea that a guy like this must be confident since he does not need her to be a complete person. His apparent confidence in himself turns them on. Many jerks also have a way on using small insults to damage a woman's self-esteem. If she believes that his self-esteem is greater than her's, it will draw her to him. The Nice Guy, who treats a woman like a queen, unknowingly destroys his standing with her. He thinks that being "nice" will eventually be reciprocated by the girl after she realizes what a great guy he is. Wrong! He raises her self-esteem and lowers his own in her eyes. In this way, he essentially castrates himself. In her eyes he becomes unworthy of her. (Side note to Nice Guys: A girl that behaves in this manner is not worthy of YOU! Keep looking for a good woman!). This observation is mainly concerning American women. There are other cultures in the world were the above situation will not apply. In some countries for example, the idea of the "Nice Guy" does not exist. Virtually all of the men will be jerks and the women simply have to deal with it. If a Nice Guy shows up, not only does he have the advantage of being an exotic foreigner, but his unheard of behavior towards women draws them to him.

women love a**holes. it has something to do with a chase. people always want what they cant have. and when you have this guy who treats you like a queen. you have him, and you know hes not going anywhere, the jerk will probably go out and mess around.

ANSWER

it deals a lot with how there father treated there mother. women seek out men that resemble there father.

Although this often looks like the case, know that there are women out there that do not stand for men to treat them badly and love the man they have that treat them as equal. (That may also be a problem in its self that most women like to be treated as an equal as opposed to like dirt OR a queen - you may need to tune your affection down as women often like to nurture and serve their men (not be a slave though) as these two traits seem natural to them.

"The demand to be safe in relationship inevitably breeds sorrow and fear. This seeking for security is inviting insecurity. Have you ever found security in any of your relationships? Have you? Most of us want the security of loving and being loved, but is there love when each one of us is seeking his own security, his own particular path?"

for full text, see link "JK on Love" on left

IN SIMPLE TERMS:

It is hard for one to feel good about themselves when the only thing they are used to is being treated like crap. When something good comes along they get frightened. They become unsure of what to do. They choose, becuase of their fear, to go with the things they know. (I.E. Men that treat women like crap.)

good answer. see men have the same prob we're use to girls doing us wrong which in turn when we find a good one we don't know how to act which is normally where the trust issues come in to play then its all over. we all need to push the past to the side for our own sake don't forget just over look if you don't at least know your past your surely doomed to repeat it. and don't take example from our parents or grand parents the sepration rate has climbed n climbed if there not gettin it right how could we possible learn the right way from them ? i'd say we can't

Answer:

Ive been asking myself the same question for 6 years. I'll meet a girl and be nothing but nice to them because I was raised to respect women. I dont fight with them or get angry and it seems like they do stuff to test me I.E. not call or txt me for days unless I call first. Im currently talking to a girl who I like alot and her past to b/f's who she was with for a year each cheated on her and hit on girls right in front of her. She tells me she wants to take things slow with me because she doesnt want to get attached to me or me be a "rebound" guy. I told her Im not like that because i know how it feels, it happend to me and its very hurtful. I just fear some smooth talking giggalo will come along while Im waiting for her and she'll go with him and leave me hanging. If that happens Im done being the nice guy. Its true nice guys finish last.

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i think i can answer this question! i'm a 22 year old girl and i always go for the guy that treats me bad!! it's because when a guy is nice to you and he is always there, you take him for granted and you know you have him. however if there is a guy that plays you, you constantly want to get his approval so it becomes a whole chase thing!!