Why do people try to act tough?

Answer 1

It's defense, even if they don't know it or want to know it. Some people act tough because they like the feeling of being perceived as tough, making other people afraid, or being seen as a protector and caregiver. Some people act tough to impress the opposite sex, or their preferred partner.

14 Signs of Mentally Tough People

Self and self-sufficiency. You have a clear and strong sense of self. ...

Healthy self-esteem. ...

Proactivity instead of passivity or reactivity. ...

A rational, present mind. ...

Emotional literacy and self-reflection. ...

Empathy and compassion. ...

Adaptability. ...

Accepting what is and isn't in your control.

Mentally strong people recognize when to let go of preconceived notions. They know when to drop points of view and ideas that are no longer relevant or useful to them. They identify and ditch bad habits that prevent them from moving forward productively. They regularly challenge their assumptions.

If you always do these 8 things, you’re mentally stronger than most

These days, we could do with all the mental strength we can muster.

Mental strength is the ability to productively regulate your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, even in the face of adversity. And adversity is in no short supply. If you want to overcome more challenges, achieve more success, experience more happiness and less stress — it takes mental strength.

After spending decades studying mental strength and interviewing and surveying thousands of people for my recent book, “The Mentally Strong Leader,″ I have good news. The mentally strongest people tend to share certain habits we can learn from. There are patterns I’ve noticed when it comes to what they say (and don’t say) and what they do.

If you always do these eight things, you’re already mentally stronger than most. If you don’t — yet! — you can look to this list as a mini-playbook that will help you level up your mental strength.

1. Manage emotions without minimizing them

That adage about how you should “leave your emotions at the door” just doesn’t work. If you’ve tried it, you know it’s not that simple.

That said, while mentally strong people are aware of emotions triggered inside, they don’t let those emotions instantly flow through into words or actions.

They catch their emotions, consider if they’re helpful to express, then decide how to respond. In other words, regarding unhelpful emotions, they catch it, check it, and change it (using the the 3 Cs of cognitive behavioral therapy).

2. Remember confidence isn’t the absence of doubt

We all contend with doubt. Even the most confident people I’ve interviewed experience doubt.

Confidence, then, is your ability to manage your relationship with the doubt you’ll inevitably experience.

The mentally strong have found the right middle ground between overconfident and paralyzed by fear of failure. They acknowledge doubt, but let it sit quietly in the background so they can focus on how they will accomplish something, not if they can accomplish it in the first place.

3. Talk to yourself like a friend in need

Imagine a friend, clearly upset and in need of empathy, was telling you about a relationship they just ended. After listening, would you say:

“How could you let this relationship fail? It’s all your fault, you jerk!”

I doubt it. Instead, you might say:

“I appreciate what you’re going through and how much it must hurt. Try not to be so hard on yourself.”

You should take this more compassionate tone with yourself, too.

4. Know your resilience needs and draw on resources accordingly

When we face setbacks, we often try to go it alone, forgetting that one of the most important things mentally strong people do is to seek perspective and support.

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Answer 2

Because they're really insecure.