What is the proper thing to say on the anniversary of a death of father in law?

Answer 1

Answer

We remember your loss a year ago. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to help you.

I like the opening sentence above. Many people feel (not just on the anniversary of a death) that talking about the deceased will bring their loved ones pain, causing them to remember their departed. Massive experience has shown that most grieving survivors - and especially the parents of a child who has died - really welcome talking about the person who has died.

The idea that they don't think of their loved one until you bring it up is erroneous.

With that in mind, I would add after the first line above a memory that you have of the deceased, preferably one that includes yourself, the surviving family member, and the deceased.

For instance, We think of you and of 'Frank' so often, and although this day brings to mind the sorrow of his passing, it is also an opportunity to revisit some wonderful memories of him. 'Joe' and I were just remembering the time we all spent at Lake Winoka when Frank taught little 'Joe' how to sail......or how quick Frank was with a joke and a smile.....

And remember, there's no need to wait for an anniversary, and it's kind to continue this type of communication well past the first years of loss.

Answer 2

"Honey, I remember that your father died a year ago this day and i think we should do something for him. You know, to help keep our memory of him alive." Then follow through and fish if he loved fishing or watch his favorite television show together. Hope this helped and sorry for your loss.

-f