Me and my girlfriend are getting fatter but I am gaining weight faster and she's eating more but she is not as fat as I am so how do I get her fatter faster?

Answer 1

First and foremost it is important to understand that women metabolize food differently than men, so it is important to research and find out what foods will be the most detrimental to your girlfriend's waistline.

When you have determined which food groups are the most fattening-catalogue them in order of highest calories per average serving. The convenient thing about your particular objective is that most foods which are abhorrently unhealthy tend to be foods which women already crave. Things like chocolate, ice cream, cake, and cookie dough are terrible for the waistline (and health in general).

Once you have identified the particular food which your girlfriend most commonly craves, purchase and distribute them at random throughout your pantry-taking careful notes about location and quantity distributed. As the week progresses take notes on what is most commonly consumed, when, and from what location-as individual dietary habits tend to follow certain patterns....Personally, I'd recommend a spreadsheet.

Once trends have been identified follow these five easy steps:

1. Buy the most frequently consumed junk foods
2. Stock them in the most commonly visited areas of your pantry
3. Just prior to the most common feeding times, suggest (or lead by example) with the most frequently consumed food of that time slot.
4. Feed
5. Watch your girlfriend fatten up, become less attractive, possibly contract Diabetes, fail to achieve her dreams, and eventually die a slow, lonely death.