It is normal for men to not want intimacy like kissing caressing or sex?

Answer 1

AnswerNo it's not normal to have completely no sexual desire. The reason a man may not want to kiss or caress his partner is because he instinctively knows that it could well lead to love-making and he may not be able to "do his duty" so he'd rather just forget the whole thing. Men have been brain-washed and had instilled in them that having a low sexual desire is not manly and their life is finished because of it. Simply not true! Each individual marches to the beat of a different drummer, and some people are considered highly sexed, while others enjoy it, but aren't thinking about it constantly. As we also grow older sex isn't always at the top of an individuals list. The average female will have a medium to low sexual desire in their marriage after the age of 50 and there are a few that are blessed with hormones that stay right up there and these women never see a decline in their sexual desires.

There are many reasons for a man (or woman) to have a low sexual desire. Antidepressants will cause low libido, heart medications and many other medications. If a person is on any medication they should look up the side effects on Google or ask their doctor or pharmacist. Diabetes is one disease that certainly can cause low libido. Depression in general (being depressed for more than 2 weeks.) A man could have low testosterone.

Men from 40 up can go through male menopause. Oh yes, that's true. The doctors always felt that was strictly reserved for women, but have found out men actually go through male menopause (can be lethargic, grumpy, anxious, low sexual desire, and feelings of worthlessness and depression.) This is at the age when some men will either cheat on their wives or flirt with young women to prove to themselves that they are still attractive and it was once called "mid life crisis" in men.

It would be wise for a man to see their doctor and be candid about their problem. There is no reason to feel embarrassed because many men can go through low sexual drive (there are lots of men out there, but they won't admit it openly and are often too embarrassed to see their doctor.) Men can be prescribed testosterone to help heighten their sexual drive.

Viagra was the most sought after medication, but it can come with a price and not in just the dollar figure. In some individuals it can cause blood clots, contribute to heart failure. The FDA in Canada and the U.S. isn't as straight as they should be with many medications and more often than not drug companies are just anxious to get the product out into the public for money and actually wait to find out if there are additional side effects to the medication. Well, the proof is there now!

Taking testerone your doctor may prescribe for a man is much better than playing Russian Roulette with Viagra.

A man shouldn't despair over a low sexual drive. Most men will experience this one or more times in their lives. See the doctor! Don't suffer in silence!

Marcy

AnswerSexual deprivation in men is frightening and a serious matter to the male species and if this is the case in point from the former poster then this is a sign of depression and there is help for this as well. Welbutrin is an SSRI for depression and has lesser side effects as far as libido and weight gain.

Marcy

It depends on what he considers will be the cost. If it will take emotional effort to get to that point, he might consider it to be too difficult.

Question ContinuedHi there

I apologize for not hitting your question on the nose, but, it's difficult to know where the post is coming from (young/older) and what the circumstances are. I'm sure glad you posted back.

I have to say that I'm leaning towards the fact your boyfriend could be gay. Please don't accuse him of this, but, the fact a young and healthy 20 year old just wants to remain friends and isn't into sex isn't normal. The only friends I know that feel this way towards any woman is a gay man. The fact I think he's gay is, whether he loved you or not most young men of this age would love to have sex, so this isn't making one bit of sense at all. I can see why you are so frustrated.

I have gay male friends and two of them got married to women and one had a son. They told me they hated the fact they were gay because they had such a rough time of it and thought they could change. One is divorced without children and my other friend has since divorced and has partial custody of his son and is a fantastic father.

Gays can have sexual relationships with women, but, then they are caught between a rock and a hard place. Some want to feel normal inside, but they really don't enjoy having sexual relationships with women (unless bisexual) and crave having sex with a man. It's very confusing. Being gay not that long ago was a hard thing to admit to oneself because gays got such a bad rap out in society, but it is getting better out there and more and more gays are "coming out of the closet." In Canada gays can get married. The only law they want to change is the wording "marriage between man and woman". Of course there is a wild debate over that one.

I suggest you insist on him talking to you. If you are sitting alone in your apartment tell him you need to talk and you have every right to express your feelings and if he doesn't want to listen then tell him you are moving on. I know it will break your heart, but hearts do heal. By staying with him and he isn't making any effort he'll only break your heart anyway.

Good luck hon Marcy

Hi, I'm the one who posted the question. I posted it because my boyfriend of 2 years doesn't want to do these things with me or any other girl and he is only 20. He wants to be friends while he tries to overcome this problem but it is really frustrating when I don't have an answer to why he feels this way, he says "it's just the way I feel" and I keep thinking that it is really me and not him. He started acting differently a week before he left for a week long trip to Japan. When he got home I knew that he didn't like me in the same way anymore. He wants everything to be like before we started dating and to be best friends but I can't stop loving him and hoping that he will snap out of this, if in fact he can. Any input on the situation would be greatly appreciated. Thank you Marcy for your indepth answer.

UpdateYour welcome. One learns something every day. I am so glad you had that talk with him and if anyone knows him, his mother does. You sound like a very intelligent young lady, and I have no doubt he'd be missing out on a lot if he didn't get back with you again.

Perhaps both of you just need time away from each other.

Good luck Marcy

Thank you again Marcy, but I asked him as soon as he told me that he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, and he said that he wasn't gay. I know that he really likes boobs, which makes me concerned about him. I also broke off all ties with him last night. I talked with his mom before I left and she gave me some hope about us being back together. She said that he is most likely trying to work things out. The Ontario collages are on strike and he is in limbo with that. He doesn't have a co-op placement and he wants to go back to Japan to do that. I think the break will be good for both of us and help us get back together since I do believe that he is working things out. He often won't talk about major problems with anyone. Thank you again for your help Marcy.

I dated my BF after many tries he attempted with me, He was so excited to take me out introduce me to his friends and family, he even took on a trip as a Bday surprise, I dated him for 5 months now and I am still with him. So after newyear things changed, He told me that he is going to be busy with school and other things and he can`t see me for sometimes. Well the time got dragged to a month and half not seeing him or having any sort of intimacy. The problem is that he is not letting me go or making me feel like girlfriend, I mean we are 27 years old not a teenager anymore. When we argue on the phone I ask him to let me go and then he requested me to be his Best friend, and then when i don't answer his calls he gets mad thinking I am on a date. Now we are kinda getting back to normal but not fully.. So what I want to say is maybe your BF is under a lot of stress that he doesn`t think about his feelings. You should give him sometimes to miss you and not call him, and if he calls you don't pick up right away. I am sure if he cares about you he will call you sooner or later. Good luck and keep urself busy!