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The wants and needs of sexual partners has always been a problem for couples. One wants it every time they turn around, while the other doesn't feel like it or vice-versa. Most of us never take into consideration that working long hours, general stress, disease, or depression can deplete some people from wanting regular sexual intercourse. No one ever prepared any of us for that and we have to learn it as we go along. It's pure myth that each couple just "has ta have it!" It's a frame of mind and no man ever went blind from not getting enough and no women ever dried up and blew away if she decides she isn't in the mood for sex. The truth of the matter is men generally want it more than women. Plain and simple. There is the odd woman who does want sex constantly, but they are few and far between. When a couple starts bisecting their sexual relationship and watching their every move as to who is pleasuring who more, it taking the spontaneity out of the whole thing. Sex should be natural, when the time is right and when both parties feel like it. I always told my boyfriend (now husband) that I would never lie about having a headache, but tell him the truth. Sometimes I want sex for weeks on end, and then suddenly, I just don't want it, and that's OK. There are times he's too tired, or just doesn't feel like it and it doesn't make my husband or myself strange at all. The top words for sex is "respect" and "communication." It's best to explain why you don't feel like making love one night ("I've had a rough day at work, or "I'm not feeling well and just want to lay here and read a book." Often, (a big complaint of women by the way) is sometimes it's just nice to cuddle and be silent, or cuddle and talk about plans you have for the future. This "eye pooping" garbage should be left on the heap. Learning about sexual techniques is always wise, but don't get into those ridiculous positions where you're hanging off a chandelier or stuck in a too small bath tub. Be spontaneous and nature does the rest. Good luck Marcy

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19y ago

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