Is it bad to desire someone to be with you?

Answer 1

Our natural instincts, whether male or female, is to seek out another human being. Whether it be the primal instinct that dominates, to procreate, or the emotional instinct to seek companionship, these emotions are an essence of the human body.

The desire for someone to 'be with you' in the context of a coexisting, monogamous, relationship is as natural as life itself. To reject these emotions can have profound impact upon the human psyche.

The longing or need for tactile human interaction begins at birth. A baby's cry is an expression of need; I'm hungry, I'm wet, I'm bored, I'm afraid, I long for the safety of loving and protective arms.

Psychologists have found that babies who came from the most oppressive orphanages, such as those of Romania during the Dictatorship of Ceausescu, as well as numerous modern-day orphanages around the world, develop a syndrome entitled 'CDD' or Child Detachment Disorder. This evidentiary documentation details how small children who receive no tactile communication - that is the warmth of human touch, develop often serious complications in their ability to interact with others throughout their lives.

As for the physiological desires to be with someone in the form of physical desire - this too is part of our natural human development. Our most primal instinct, shared in all red-blooded animals, is the desire to reproduce.

The human body is gifted with a number of instincts towards this goal; hormones and testosterone levels rise from the onset of puberty, naturally nudging the human form to seek a companion for the express purpose of procreation.

Pheromones, another naturally occurring chemical within the body, provides what is almost a subliminal scent designed to attract another individual. There are numerous types of pheromones, which again come from our primal origins, which serve different purposes; one draws us towards self-preservation in the form of finding food. Another triggers an alarm when there is the possibility of danger, and there is one which serves as a sexual enticer, which again goes back to our primal instinct to procreate and protect the species.

Scientists acknowledge that plant life and many vertebrates communicate through the use of pheromones. As the most advanced of the planet's species, we possess one final gift (or curse, depending on how you think of it), that's the gift of speech.

There is a number of cultures whose societal, cultural, or religious beliefs seek to oppress the natural instincts we experience. Some religious groups begin early in teaching children that their natural inquisitive desires about their bodies and the differences between male and female is either sinful or an affront to God. And there are even some cultures that take aggressive, cruel, and perverse measures to deny women their natural instincts through such appalling measures as female circumcision.

The most authoritative answer to such an innocent question; "is it bad to desire someone to be with you," is absolutely not!

Desiring to be part of life with someone else is as natural as the air you breathe.