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I would tell him because it will come out eventually. It is better if it comes from you than coming from another source. I am answering this from the other perspective of having my spouse cheating on me and finding out from other sources than him. Your spouse will have questions: answer them if you're interested in keeping your spouse. Give your spouse time to process the information and decide what they want to do with it. Let them know if you would like to stay with them or not so they know what your intentions are. Also, get tested for STDs as your spouse may want to know if you've exposed them to anything through this experience. Good luck! To the grave! It depends. Why did you cheat? Was there a reason? Is it likely to happen again? Is opening up such a wound really going to accomplish anything but clear your conscience while you make your wife feel like dirt? Is this something that happened way out on a business trip that no one knows about but you and it's not going to produce any children/STDs? Or is it someone close that you both know that would further hurt more people by letting it out of the bag? Neither is clearly a right or wrong answer. You have done wrong. But unless she's likely to find out you would be best served by turning your guilt inwards and finding ways to show your wife you love her going forwards and working daily to improve your relationship than you would be to throw more coals on a fire that is already smoldering (or you wouldn't have wanted to be with anyone else in the first place)

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Q: If you cheated on your spouse would you tell him or take it to the grave?
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