How does assertiveness communication enhance the relationship?

Answer 1

Men and women are vastly different creatures. They are made differently in order to fulfill different sorts of functions. Just look at them side by side, and you can see many of the differences right away. Given that they are so very different, it is now easy to imagine that they also will have somewhat different needs or at least differing needs from time to time. You will not necessarily be aware of the needs your "opposite sex" partner will have, BECAUSE YOUR BODY isn't really very much LIKE their body and you probably won't even CARE about some of the things that are important to your mate! Assertiveness communication is nothing but a fancy word for "sticking up for yourself", or the fine art of complaining skillfully, such that your partner is treated with respect, while at the same time letting them know that you need something different than what you are getting from them, so that there is actually at least a CHANCE that they may choose to grant your skillfully phrased request, and thus begin to meet (some of) your previously unmet needs. If your partner isn't allowed to "tell the truth", because they aren't very assertive to begin with, and because you punish them everytime they attempt to tell the truth about something that isn't going perfectly well, then you are breeding a doormat. This doormat will eventually leave you when their pain gets to be so great that they feel more relief by NOT being in a relationship with you than the joy that they get from BEING IN a relationship with you (if any). This doormat will then need to learn "assertiveness communication" in order to heal from being a doormat, and become an equal, healthy partner once again (probably for somebody else). The relationship is therefore obviously enhanced by having a partner that is able to skillfully practice assertiveness communication, in that you don't need to live with a doormat, (a sullen, unhappy, often resentful and totally miserable beast if there ever was one), AND they won't leave you because their needs are continually being unmet, (which even men should be able to comprehend HOW this can be so very good for THEM, heheheh!) Because your partner IS able to communicate their needs skillfully, you also won't have to listen to a bunch of whining or complaining or nagging, which is what people typically resort to when they lack the skills needed to communicate about unmet needs successfully.