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You have to address, take responsibility for and deal with your actions that caused the issues to be able to move forward. When you have come to terms with things and have forgiven yourself you will begin to heal. Don't be so hard on yourself though, people are only human and do make mistakes you just have to be willing to see that there are worse things out there and more important, learn from your actions as to not repeat them, forgive yourself and move forward. Don't dwell on it - leave the past in the past. Believe me when I say things will get better!!!
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