How do you know if your spouse really loves you when he says he needs time apart from you to think about how he feels?

Answer 1

IF HE IS HONEST, you can't. How could you if he doesn't know himself? You'll have to wait and see.

If he's lying, then he doesn't, and it's an excuse for something else. Do you have reason to doubt his word?

Give him the time that he is asking for. Don't act overly anxious for his answer either. Absence makes the heart grow fonder - and if you take that time to do your own thinking, you might feel more secure in his love for you or you you may feel more independent and realize that if he doesn't love you, then you don't need him. If you love someone then you should let them go (let him go think about it), if he returns to you (ON HIS OWN - without any prodding or prompting or nagging from you) then he was yours all along, if he doesn't, then it was never meant to be.

Everyone needs some time alone. If he really loves you, he'll be back. Do your best to trust him.

I am married pretty happily and I still believe that at some point I will need to be on my own for a while to come to my senses, if you will. Being in a relationship, especially if you have spent most of your social time with your partner, can be very constricting. I do not want to sleep with other men; I simply want some time to be alone with myself and to make decisions for myself on my own schedule. It is also difficult to be in a very intimate, albeit loving, relationship if you haven't properly been on your own beforehand. Before I met my husband, I had never lived by myself and I hadn't really grown into myself yet...Now, a few years older and wiser, I realize I should probably take some time for myself. And even if I come to the conclusion that I like being alone, I still love my husband dearly and nothing could ever change what he has meant to me. If you have made a strong emotional bond with this person, that bond will always be there and it will always be special--but people change and our paths sometimes diverge. It is best, if you must end a relationship, to end it on loving terms.

Having them want some time apart may simply be their way of regrouping to regain their own identity. In some cases it is simply that the two of you are so intertwined that they don't feel they are a person aside from who they are with you. It is not bad to have distance and I would suggest you take the time to examine how you feel too. There is a balance to relationships that needs to be nurtured. It is good to share lives as long as the two of you have a life apart as well. Friends that you don't share, places you go without them and so fourth. Be careful though. If you feel there is more to their "needing time" than just time trust in your gut feeling. Many times it is a sign of infidelity.

I had this years ago and it was purely because while I adored my girlfriend, the commitment thing and deciding about my entire life was very scary and after my parents divorced I did not want to fail. the big thing about a man is he does not want to fail - just think about when a man is lost - he won't ask for directions, he'll struggle along to succeed, because asking is failing. With all problems, men are thinkers and women are talkers. Men sit down and think and think (remote control juggling) whilst women call a friend - so by having space he may be actually complimenting you by giving it all serious consideration. He could just play you along and not be serious then disappear one day but this guy want to sit on a rock with a clear head and think out all the pros and cons. Don't worry, leave him well alone and he'll be in touch. The BIG mistake women make is interrupting the thought process by feeling insulted then turn it into an argument. Give him a hug, tell him you understand his decision and you are there for him - it works! I came back and married my girlfriend and was happy I'd thought it through and she didn't nag once!

Some men may feel the relationship is moving too fast and some men are afraid of commitment. He may even realize he's very much in love with you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you and needs time to be sure of his decision.

Try being patient. If he's worth it he'll be back. If not consider yourself lucky you found out now.

Depending if you are in your teens or 20 or over, this is a sign of immaturity. Couples, whether they are going together, living together or are married should be learning the tools of communication. If this was the case in your situation then he should have explained himself to you by simply sitting down with you and expressing how he was feeling. Let him know that it goes both ways and you aren't going to sit around while he takes his time trying to make up his mind. Also remind him that you both should be able to sit down and talk things out.

[Comment:]I disagree. Even if they had a still unresolved argument, he may need to think about what each has said in a neutral environment. It seriously hampers my analyzing abilities and objectivity if there's someone I have a conflict with within my perception range, or there's a noticeable time limit. To analyze FEELINGS, I need to be ALONE, free of any short-term threats or pressure.

However, it looks more like he's just forgotten how life without her feels (honesty precluded). ]

He's cheating!

• Your spouse is already seeing another person or is really wanting to. In case that doesn't work he is leading you on to come back to or he is getting ready to divorce you and is being as nice about it as that person can be.
• I was married for 17 years and had three children with my spouse. He walked out on his youngest daughter's birthday and said he need his space to think. I checked his cell phone records for the month previous and he had been in contact with an old girl friend who just happened to be the one calling hanging up on me throughout the years. I asked question in a civil manner pleading with him to just be truthful with me and he chose to lie anyways. Looking back on things I began to see other things that were like red flags.

  I believe that when you feel that something is not feeling right, then you two, not just as individuals, but as a couple need to get yourselves to counseling. A third party is needed to be a neutral in order for the two of you to see things clearly. This is a marriage and you can not fix any problems if you are not working together. Just walking away to see how you "feel" is cowardly and is not a truly viable option, even if in the end you don't stay together.

• Why would he need time away from you to think about how he feels? It sounds to me, he is having an affair, or already has someone in mind or something going on with someone else. In marriage, you cant take time, breaks to sort things out. It's just a cope out he is using. He maybe trying to see if there is a chance in a new relationship before he breaks it off with you. Sorry, I don't mean to hurt you. But he is doing something he shouldn't be doing.
• (bad grammar)I can tell you from personal experience, when they need time alone.......time to think, there is one thing on his mind. "Getting into the other woman's pants" Ironically enough, I actually tried to give him "his space", and all it got me after she went to calm him down, which took a couple hours, were visions of them, naked, in each others arms, lying on the very matress he made love to me on the exact same night he confesses he had her in there. Makes me want to puke.