No
No.
No you can not get a woman pregnant from ejaculation into the rectum.
If you mean ejaculating or masturbation, then there is no scientific proof that it does.
Try sperming her sister to get closer to her
First of all with grammar like that you shouldn't be "sperming"
I would think yes. If you are seriously thinking about killing yourself I suggest getting help very fast.
Walk in on your mom and dad's bedroom at 3am and tell your mom to spit.
No you don't have to be fast you just have to have faith in yourself to beable to do it.
to do it yourself
fast enough to keep up with yourself
run fast