Explain why both adults and children keep child abuse a secret?

Answer 1

There are many different reasons that children and adults remain silent about the "secret" of abuse, including:

- scared that the abuser will hurt or fatally injure them

- fear that the abuser will hurt or fatally injure a love one

- embarrassment

- the abuser convinced the victim that "no one will believe you"

- the abuser convinced the victim that "you wanted it as much as I did"

- the abuser uses bribes or any form of "currency" that the child needs or wants including attention, money, gifts, or special treats

- the victim starts to believe he/she did "want it" simply because he/she wanted the items the abuser promised

- just want to pretend it never happened

- don't know it's abuse

- the lack of words to define or describe what happed

- the abuse occurred at night so that the incidents become clouded "as if a dream"

- the victim dissociates so there is a wall between "now" and what occurred "before now", even during the abuse

- the victim suffers from Stockholm's syndrom (start to have feeling for the abuser and will sympathised with the abuser)

Parents who do nothing after being told by a child about abuse often do not tell anyone because:

- the parent is the abuser in many cases

OR....

- the parent/s do not understand the danger of abuse, even if they have another child in the home

- the abuser is the mother's boyfriend so the mother chooses her boyfriend over the child

- the abuser is the mother's boyfriend and the mother cannot get away from him

- the abuser is the father who also commits domestic violence--the mother feels she cannot safely leave and take her children with her

- the abuser is the spouse or boyfriend who has threatened the mother as well as the kids and the victim

- the parent fears involvement of child welfare

- the parent was also an abused child so he or she thinks "I got through it, so can you"

- the parent feels powerless

- the parent is in denial

- the parent has a mental illness and is ineffective at protecting a child

- the abuser is the parent's workplace boss and the parent needs the job so therefore chooses not to tell the authorities

OR....

Both parents or the mother and a live-in boyfriend commit the abuse together against the child.