First, I presume your use of "you" is referring to Mankind and not me, the writer.
In short, the answer is Yes.
All Humans, without a specific disease that prevents this and/or some unfortunate type of Physical {Tissue} obstruction, not only "can" do both simultaneously, but do so most of the time when beginning defecation. Urinating usually ceases before the of the function of defecation, but this is due to the relative amounts needing excretion -- which is as varied as the number of Humans alive who defecate.
If Your question was a truly legitimate question and not some type of time-wasting prank, I urgently suggest that You make Yourself an Appointment with an experienced Gastroenterologist Doctor or a General Practitioner Doctor/Family Medicine Doctor As Soon As Possible! Because, any Person of an age who can communicate by use of a Computer Keyboard on the internet asking that particular question, probably experiences this action seldom, if at all. And if is the case, that is not Normal and needs Medical attention immediately!
Why do I urinate then defecate then must urinate again?
If you can't urinate w/o defecating, then there's something wrong. But urinating when defecating is very common and not a problem.
receiving oral sex while defecating while doing the hankey pankey
It is not a good idea - urinating and defecating outside is the same as throwing garbage into your yard. It causes disease and infection. It also smells bad and attracts vermin.
This is just a matter of muscle control. You have a finer control of the muscles that you use to pee. But the control of the muscles for defecating are a lot more vague so when you defecate, you generally relax and push all the muscles in the area. This can be improved with muscle exercises for that area giving you more control.
Being given oral sex while at the same time having a bowel movement.
Yes
The large intestine holds feces, but if you mean while defecating or immediately before, it is the rectum.
Yes, why wouldn't they be able to? Everyone can urinate while erect, it's just a little harder.
stress incontinence
yes that is normal
Yes, but it's impractical and messy