Are oompa loompas slaves

Answer 1

they aren't in my house...I have a portal to oompa loompa land in my basement. I make weekly trips to their harsh jungle world and I try to save as many of them as possible from their dangerous lives high up in the trees.

THE WILLY WONKA MOVIE IS BASED ON TRUTH!!!!

Anyone who tells you otherwise has succumbed to the massive conspiracy put in place by the United Nations. This other world was discovered in 1492. Columbus did in fact find a new world. But not only the Americas, as everyone has been told. In his lost Journal, he writes that he discovered a cave in which there was a glowing light emanating from the deepest reaches within the cave. He felt drawn to light, and as he got closer he found that he could not turn back. He then found that he had been bliiiiiinded byyyyy the liiiiiiight!!!!

He felt little hands pulling at his legs and felt obligated to follow. As he gained his sight back, he started to see little orange men with green hair. He was obviously confused at this point. As he came too, he felt an intense burning sensation around his left big toe, and about seven eighths of his right sixth little toe ( yes, I was surprised to. I know it comes as a shock and may be a little hard to believe, but Columbus did in fact have six toes on his right foot)... It turns out that in Oompa Loompa Land, LSD is a naturally growing substance that can be commonly found in flora of all kinds. So, after being given exorbitant amounts of the drug, to which oompa loompas are impervious, Columbus was having increasingly worse hallucinations (so, in retrospect i guess he may not even have had six right toes, although it is still entirely possible because there are plenty of people with that disorder today, although I'm sure the oompa loompas weren't too happy about it because they are actually all completely identical to each other and have intense phobias of changes and differences, especially in their feet, to the point where they have evolved to reproduce asexually through the process of crushing excessive amounts of giant cocoa beans into a pasty substance that they then insert into their belly buttons after ritualistically poking a hole through their belly buttons with the sharpened bones of giant overly evolved amoebas which allows the cocoa pasty stuff to absorb some of the life of the oompa loompas, even though they are pretty much immortal so i don't what would compel them to reproduce in the first place if it's so incredibly painful and traumatizing as can be seen through the few oompa loompas who have actually tried to complete the ritual and now have wildly flamboyant parallel personalities as related to their previously, mostly reclusive characteristics, which, I can imagine must have gotten quite annoying to Columbus, that is when he wasn't on LSD, which I can't imagine to have been a likely occurence since that is all that the oompa loompas have to drink to get their nourishment, much like we have to drink water for our own nourishment, which interestingly enough has the same effects that LSD has on us, on the oompa loompas which, now that I think about it, must be why all of my oompa loompas keep having severe hallucinations immediately before dying, which is another interesting thing about oompa loompas and also probably why Columbus was unable to bring any back with him since when oompa loompas die they melt from the feet up into this chocolatey, sticky, pasty substance, which as it turns out can then be drunk as an alcoholic beverage if you catch it in time because it evaporates within 72 seconds of contact with the air