You can't trade Pokemon from Pokemon Gold to Pokemon Red, you can only trade Pokemon from Red to Gold and not the opposite.
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No, you cannot trade between the two different versions because the Pokemon are different or the Pokemon know different moves that are not in red version. When they re-make gold and silver for DS there may be some way to trade between Pokemon fire red and leafgreen to the new gold and silver but I doubt it.
haunter has to be traded to evlove haunter evolve into gengar in level 42
only if you trade them from red, blue or yellow
You can't get one at all in Gold. You'd have to trade one from Red/Blue/Yellow.