You have to wake up at 5:00 am and go to Galen's house at 5:30 or before that and at 6:00 am you talk to him and he will ask you something about polishing Nina's grave stone, say yes.
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When Nina dies, she has no grave. It's pretty sad.
Dampe's grave is in the Kakariko Graveyard. From the entrance, go up, make a left, and pull the 1st grave to the left to get to Dampe's grave.
To get the Death flower you have to go to the grave yard. (The best way to do this next step is if you pause your game) Then, using the camera mode, find a bush that looks like a tomato plant, hover over it and click "Harvest". That is how you get the Death flower. Hope it helps.
The grave in RuneScape serves as a safety net. So when the a players character dies they can return to their grave and reclaim all their armor meaning full void will be intact.
When a Sims dies, you have to wait about a day or two then wait and see if it comes out. They come out in no order and at random. If the grave is on your lot it helps. Happy Siming :)