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All sims start out neutral, so they say. If married, they start somewhat inclined to the gender they married (your option in building the family). The more romantic/flirtatious interactions towards one gender, the more they lean that way. Over time, they prefer that gender.

Or, if you want it simpler, there is an item on modthesims.com, that can change it for you. Search for "gender", and you should locate it. Looks just like the kite decor (does NOT override that, though), and you place it on a wall, select a sim, click and set as you like. You can do this for all sims in that family, then sell the item on day one, too, costing them nothing. Tried it, it works GREAT. Mine, I prefer straight, but with this, you can set all one way, all the other, or a range in between. Very nice object. Free to download, too.

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Q: How do you make your sims gay?
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