No, unfortunately, you cannot decide what gender you want your child to be. It's said to be completely random, though some have theories that have to do with the day you propose or the actual day of your mairrage.
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Yes. When you start a new file the game has you choose which gender you want to play as.
Not really. The gender of your child is set the day you get married.
male. the 2nd one is female
No, You can not. In the GBA Harvest Moon Game(gameboy advanced), you can choose your gender. Unfortunately, they ruled out this feature in Harvest Moon Ds. I think this is due to that they were going to release Harvest Moon Ds Cute the next year, so you would have to buy one or the other. P.S: I don't remember which GBA Game, Sorry!
In all the harvest moon games, except for one, you can not have more than one child. In the new Wii game, Harvest moon : Animal Parade, you can in fact have two children. The only thing is, is that among those two children, you can only have a young child and a older child, you cant have both be the same age. You CAN choose the gender like the rest of the Harvest moon games, or you can ask the spouse if what he/she wants.