What are at least ten funny or witty things a robot from the 1950s might say?

Answer 1

Here are some possibilities:

• I know you are metric, but I am willing to convert.
• Is it hot in here, or did your internal fan system just crash?
• I bet I can decrypt your code.
• I hope you have an accellerometer, because I'm gonna rock your world.
• Your lips say 0 but your eyes say 1.
• Let's lose ourselves in some mindless repetitive tasks.... if you know what I mean.
• Want to be debugged?
• Do you have any plans for me in your card stack today?
• If you polished me as much as your Chevy Bel-Aire, I would shine too.
• You are breaking Asimov's three laws, because you are a knock out.

Answer 2

Although robots in the 1950's would be very primitive, they make excellent story additions in alternate history genres. The Fallout game series for example makes excellent use of robots in an alternate history. You would need to study the language, terms and slang used in the 1950's and adapt your robot's speech around it.

Remember, robots are emotionless and therefore may sound arrogant or to-the-point. A machine which feels emotions is generally a cyborg (half-human, half-machine), not a robot, though there have been robots with emotional capabilities, such as in "I, Robot".


Some funny or semi-funny (depending on the context) things a 1950's robot may say are:

• "Ugh, give me a minute, I need to reboot"
• "I can't do that, I'm defragging"
• "Have you seen my oil?"
• Robot: "I can't say I love you because I don't know what love is" ... Human: "Why?" ... Robot: "Well, because I'm a machine"
• "I think my lenses are a bit dirty"
• "Me? Why me? Do I look human to you?"
• "Just wait until I get hold of my programmer!"
• "Psst! The wireless radio keeps winking at me"
• Human: "Robots, fire at will!". Robot: *Taps human on shoulder* "Sorry sir, which one is Will?"
• "Oh blast, I appear to have a squirrel nesting in my central processing unit"
• Human: "Oh, there you are. I thought you were dead". ... Robot: "Technically I was never alive. But I do appreciate your concern".
• "Error. Information overload. Please insert cucumber. Error. Reboot the planet."