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It depends on the preference of the couple. Some women prefer to be referred to by their husbands' names... others detest it. For a generic letter where you don't know the couple, choose the option without the husband's name. There are other issues as well. Do you know that the husband goes by Jim? If you are uncertain of a nickname, use the formal first name. If you know the couple, and the wife's name, it is perfectly acceptable to address a letter to Sally and Jim Smith. That would avoid the issue of calling her by the husband's name.

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Q: Should you address a letter to a couple as Mr and Mrs Smith or Mr and Mrs Jim Smith?
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