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It's possible for children to know they are gay, even at an early age. Just as other children know they are attracted to the opposite sex. Neither gay or straight 12-year- olds should be thinking of sex till they are older, of course.

* In the meantime they just develop their appreciation of what being gay is. They learn what it means. They look for gay friends, and they have straight friends as well. They might talk about being gay with their friends, or they might keep it a secret till they are really confident. * They might tell their parents, or they might wait till they are older, as parents often say, "Oh, you're much too young to know." (They wouldn't say that to a straight kid, would they?) If your child tells you he or she is gay, then listen carefully to them and don't say anything you might regret later. They may have thought about this much more than you have. Maybe for years. Remember, gay people can't change into straights. (Is there any chance of you, straight parent, turning gay?) So treat your child's words with respect. If they are gay, then you have a task ahead of you, smoothing out the bumps in the road. The first thing you do is show them you love them and accept them for what they are.

If you think your child might be gay but hasn't told you yet, you can help by showing a tolerance and respect for gay people that you see in the media and the news. If your child realizes that you are accepting of gay people in general, then they will be able to deal with their own situation more easily. There is nothing wrong in being gay (homosexual) but children as young as 12-years-old are unlikely to know for sure if they are or not. This age they are entering puberty and having mixed feelings about their sexuality. They may get confused and experiment with the same sex because they are more likely to have friends the same sex. Discovering themselves will come later. Not all gay people tell their parents or friends that they are gay. Some feel they cannot because of their parents attitude towards gays. Some because they are ashamed of being gay. It is still somewhat a stigma in many societies around the world.

Every gay man I have talked to can look back to his childhood and see the signs that he was gay from an early age -- frequently way before age 12.

On the other hand, a lot of boys in early adolescence have sexual feelings for other guys. Early in puberty everything seems sexy! Give yourself a few years to let things settle.

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15y ago

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