Should you confront your husband's mistress?

Answer 1

I agree- don't contact the mistress. There's nothing good that can come of it. Maintain your dignity; don't become the next Jerry Springer guest.

However, with regards to this so-called "Woman's Code."

What kind of woman turns marriage into a cage? I know there are men out there who cheat no matter what the state of their marriage, no matter how wonderful a wife they have...but let's get off our high horses, WOMEN. To those women who have taken their husbands for granted, who've decided that sex is just an imposition to them that they don't wish to accede to...what kind of a woman are YOU? If you're married to a man, and they ask you to change things, if they tell you what they need, if they beg you to give them the things they need to feel loved...sex, affection, respect, appreciation...and you refuse, for years on end...If you refuse to look at yourself, if you refuse to seek help from a marital counselor or a sex therapist with him, what do you expect will happen?

If you refuse someone food or water, is it their fault for finding somewhere else to eat and drink? Or should they die or starvation? I told this starving man yes, despite my reservations about getting involved with a married man. It's one of the best decisions I've ever made.

To my mind, I stole nothing. She'd left her husband out on the curb, with the garbage. Her neglected trash has become my one-in-a-million treasure.

Screw this "Woman's Code." It's just a pile of garbage to keep neglectful wives feeling as if they have some sort of moral high ground they don't deserve.

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"Hi..this is where I differ from the other answers.... First! Lets face this fact: It comes right down to this decision: A man can stray, a man can look, a man can touch, a man can.... BUT it is the WOMAN - who can say NO - It is a WOMAN that can BE A WOMAN TO STOP & SEND the Man back home to face being a MAN!!! I am just a believer that a Woman can start it and a Woman can stop it!! And if shes from the same cloth or code of MOST ALL WOMEN then I would have No Problem to have a chat with the Lady? But just be prepared....But if it will make you feel better to confront her then go for it!!!!Be a Woman!!"

Answer 2

• Don't tell the mistress anything; tell the husband! Husbands can say 'no.' You are enabling his behavior by putting up with him having this mistress. As fearful and heart-breaking as it is you are in control of your life so sit down with him and let him know it's either you or her, but you're not sharing.