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Why would a Narcissist keep in touch periodically over one year after the relationship is over and consistently express his deep love if he discarded you and never looked back?
Wiki User
∙ 12y ago
Just to make sure he can come back if and when he wants. He most likely is lying about how he feels or else he would of tried harder to win you back rather than a phone call here and there. OR he does love you and is confused.
Thank YouIt's good for me to remember who he is... and not to get caught up again. I 'do' need to remember it is 'all' about him, it always has been. I didn't realize this at all until I left and had some perspective. It's VERY tough to resist sometimes especially when he uses certain words (all very loving) that really get to me. Reply To AnswerThanks for the response. He made enormous efforts to win me back both times I left - over a 6 month period. He scaled back his efforts considerably once he realized I was VERY reluctant and could not be convinced (or controlled). Since he had this realization, he has made intermittent contact via text or email (no phone calls) always expressing his love, while at the same time cleverly slipping in blame or criticism about my choice to leave. His consistency however has made me question my assessment of his Narcissism (this was presented to me as a very real possiblity by a PhD in Psychology who counseled us). Also, his family has also been consistent about his feelings for me (also being unlike any other woman). Any additional thoughts? Thanks again! New AnswerRemember the N's basic motivation--keeping good source(s) of supply. Has he perhaps currently run out of suppliers? He may very well remember how great you are and now regret not "keeping you in the loop" as a possible source should he need/want you. If he is actually an N, remember that it is ALWAYS about HIM. Keep your eyes open. If he could coldly turn away from you once, he probably is capable of doing it again, unless he's experienced a totally life-changing shift. Just be aware of who/what you're dealing with and don't lose yourself.Good luck, Georgette new answerAlot of Non-N's will do this. Just to keep you hanging on in case they need you for something someday. Money sex, attention. With N's they make a career out of it collecting women (or men) to have on hand at their disposable.Wiki User
∙ 12y ago
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Is it true that sometimes the Narcissist will be extra nice to you just before you're discarded?
There is no rule in these matters - so, no, it is not universally true. It depends on the narcissist in question.
Will a narcissist who just ended a 6-year relationship with you and has rebounded into another relationship immediately after you eventually treat his new woman the same way?
Almost certainly. ********** It most likely depends on whether or not the person in the new relationship is willing to feed his or her ego indefinitely. However, whenever the person "fails" the narcissist in his or her grandiose vision of how perfect and excellent their lives together are supposed to be, it's likely that that person will be totally devalued and discarded.
If the Narcissist discards you do they think of you anymore at all?
They don't think of you actively - but they add you to a "database" of old and discarded sources that can be "recycled" for future use.
How would a narcissist react to being discarded in the same manner they have discarded others?
It has been my experience that they will fake-hurt for a moment and then go out and try and get more of their narcissistic supply from whoever, wherever....their "fake hurt" only lasts until they find someone to take the place of the person who just left them.
If you have a small child with a narcissist who discarded both of you and said he did not want the child and has never seen the child but shadily finds out info what can you do to ensure he's gone?
You can't EVER ensure a narcissist is "gone". But usually they are only out to get whatever benefits them. If he is showing interest in you and/or the child, that will disappear once he finds his next target.
Can a narcissist get to close to someone?
I am assuming you are referring to 1. a malignant narcissist and 2. close as meaning intimate. My initial response is simply no. Narcissist do not see others as "people" but view others more like "things". This is evident in how they respond to others. Narcissists lack empathy and altruism within their personality. Empathy and altruism would be vital ingredients to a healthy and close relationship. In general N's treat other people like things. Things are used, manipulated, and discarded. We dont consider "Things" to have feelings. They are just objects. Therefore we dont consider our relationship to "things" as intimate. When people do attempt to replace intimate relationships with humans to attempting to have an "intimate" relationship with a thing or action we often refer to this as addictive behavior i.e. alcoholism etc... Generally N's are incapable of intimate, close personal relationships.
If your friend has a child with a narcissist who discarded her and slandered her name then disappeared how can you help her get over the pain and the attachment 2 years after being discarded?
Educate her on narcissism, remind her of how awful he is. I was in a similar boat with my cousin. Her ex N was so terrible that we thought he was a sociopath at first and his attitude was often compared to that of a serial killer. He would laugh at that kind of thoughts on him, but he was truly ill. The utter lack of emotion for things he'd done. He would seem to get off on watching her hurt. We recently found out he's a Narcissist. The more she can learn and apply the symptoms, the easier it will get to move on. Personally, in my situation I would find times in her relationship where he would be mimicking her likes and dislikes and each time I showed her that he WAS constantly saying that everything she says is the same as him and every emotion he had were exaggerated and she soon became more aware. Luckily I had things to compare it to. It's not an easy thing. Her ex sounds like a pathetic human being. He discarded her and disappeared I assume means he also discarded the child and that is disgusting but for a narcissist it really is nothing out of the ordinary. She is better off without this person. Distance herself from everything pertaining to this person. Block him from re-entering her life at a later date, which I have noticed Narcissist's will do. Come back for more. The child is lucky that he's gone. Take care and good luck.
Is it common for a narcissist who discarded you to watch you for years and then appear visible when he needs supply then disappear right after he sees you?
yes this is the silly cycle of a narcissist Yes it is common. That's what they do best, playing their games and ensuring they have victims at hand. They want to know and wish that their victims never move on and find other partners. To them that is the worst type of insult.
If you were discarded by a Narcissist after a 3-month relationship which he said was all an illusion does this mean you're free of him forever or will he come back looking for more supply?
Opinions from contributors: I was discarded after a 4 month relationship that, in her diluted mind, was NOT a dating relationship, when it was the most intense thing I had ever experienced. Anyway, it's been 6 months and I haven't seen hide nor hair of her. She's done. She won't likely be coming back 'round. She didn't even say goodbye. She went on and I laid in bed for months wondering what I had done. It hurts terribly and we want them to 'come back'. They won't and they don't. I was discarded after 6 months of an intense loving relationship. He said it was not real, and acted as if it was me that was nuts, even though we were engaged. He went about his life as if it never happened telling people the biggest lies about me, for no reason at all. I never knew he was a narcissist until a year later and many many awful things. He never actually went away. He met someone and then popped in and out for a while. He comes back I think when he's single. He looks for me but I'm gone. I don't think you can ever be free, or forgotten, unless you make yourself be.
Is there any way to get back an emotionally abusive narcissist who was once in your life but has 'discarded' you from theirs?
Be disrespectful to yourself and shower hm/her with exaggerated respect. Humiliate yourself and worship the narcissist. Be his/her loyal slave. You have the choice to either respect the narcissist or yourself, because you can't respect both of you at the same time. Choose wisely. Please don't do yourself a disservice by trying to get a narcissist back into your life. You answered your own question...they dicarded you from theirs...just as they will continue to do with either you or others. You are worth much more than that. That person will not respect you or give you the love you deserve. Why would you want to re-introduce an abusive narcissist into your life? Count your blessings for having gotten rid of him!
When was The Discarded created?
The Discarded was created in 1959.
Why would the narcissist be driving past your house at night after you broke up?
Well, I'm not sure. But I sure drove by my ex N's quite a bit after I was suddenly discarded. I think anyone who is searching for 'why' is apt to do this.
